Coach Ziana

Don't let them fool you. You are not your fancy car, your modern devices, implants, body type, hair color, designer clothing, or anything else that Social Media pressures you into being. If you could grow into the greatest "you" that you were meant to be, you'd never need to copy anyone else -- ever again. You would be the "influencer," not the "influenced."

Are you who you think you are?

Is your ego getting in your way?

This exercise is challenging but can be a real eye-opener for those who are willing to be okay with feeling uncomfortable in the sort term, so as to gain the long-term benefits of becoming their highest, most authentic self.

Are you who you think you are? Does the world see the real you, or only a contrived version? Are you aligned with your highest self? This exercise will bring clarity.

You will need to ask 2 people a few questions:

• 1 person who always has your back (BFF/Partner/someone really close.)

• 1 person with whom you have a good rapport but only know casually. This person doesn't know you well at all but would be willing to answer honestly. Choose someone whom you don't think is the catty/childish/selfish sort please. We're looking for truth, not insults, after all.

LET'S GO!

Part 1. WHAT YOU SEE.

Inner Self: Be honest with yourself, even if it's uncomfortable. You're the only one who will ever see the answers to this part of the exercise.

1. Why do you post selfies on Social Media? Do you feel rejected when you don't get the “likes” you hoped for? Are you seeking validation? Are you trying to impress a certain person or group of people?)

2. Are you shy/timid/reserved in groups of people? Why? (Feelings of insecurity? Prefer one-on-one contact rather than groups?)

3. Do you overpower people you speak to, to make sure your voice is heard? Do you like to keep the attention focused on yourself? Or do you listen quietly, allow them to finish, and then speak? Is what you're saying to them matter more to you than what they are sharing with you? Is Ego sabotaging genuine communication?

4. In arguments, to you fight to win, or try to understand the other person's point of view?

Part 2. WHAT OTHERS SEE.

Don't take their responses personally. Try to just collect data in order to make comparisons between how you see yourself and how they see you, and to determine if your BFF's responses are comparable to the other person who doesn't know you well at all. Often, people who love us won't be totally honest for fear of hurting our feelings. That's why the other person is necessary in this exercise.

1. Why does your BFF think you post selfies on Social Media?

2. Why does your casual acquaintance think you post selfies on Social Media?

3. Why does your BFF think you're shy or timid in groups of people?

4. Does your BFF think you interrupt them too much when you're having a conversation or discussion?

5. Does your casual acquaintance think you interrupt too much during conversations? If you only know them online, do they think you try to take center stage in public threads or private messaging?

6. Does your BFF think you listen closely to make them feel really seen and heard? Or do you sometimes flip the conversation to make it about you?

7. Does your casual acquaintance think you listen closely with attention focused on THEM, or you turn the conversation around to make it about you?

8. Do your BFF or casual acquaintance think your ego sometimes gets in the way of you being your best self?

9. In discussions (in person or online) does your BFF think you debate to win, or that you're open to learning new things?

10. Does your casual acquaintance think you debate to win, or that you're open to learning new things?

PART 3. Are you presenting the real you, or only the version you want people to see?

Compare the answers to Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. If there is a huge difference between the responses, then there is misalignment happening. If Parts 1,2, and 3 are pretty close in all answers, then the you that you show the world is reasonably authentic. If your answers about yourself match your BFF's answers, there's a good chance the BFF doesn't want to hurt your feelings. After all, BFF's always have your back. In that case, narrow your comparisons down to your inner self answers, and your casual acquaintance's answers. If the two are reasonably close, you're being your truest self most of the time. If there are little similarities, you may not be operating from a place of authenticity. This isn't necessarily a bad thing. This becomes an amazing opportunity to do some inner work to find out why there is such a wide gap between how you see yourself and how others see you.

You can add your own questions to this exercise, relating them to any area of your life that you seek answers.

I hope you enjoyed this exercise!

Until next time, you matter!

Coach Ziana.

https://coach-ziana.com

coachziana@gmail.com

Coach Ziana.

Is CBT for you?

Coach Ziana.

When it comes to Social Media Addiction, I'm not here to make anyone comfortable. I'm not an easy chair. I'm here to tackle some of the issues plaguing our society, from Social Media addiction to the negative affect that some of our most iconic idols are having on our very impressionable youth.

If we don't tackle these issues head-on, they may very well destroy us, our families, our relationships, our careers, our very lives.

Please take a few minutes to click over to "Social Media Addition Statistics."  Some are downright frightening.

Make a difference...share your story.

If Social Media Addiction and/or misuse has negatively impacted your life or the lives of those you love, you may be part of the solution by sharing your story. I'm not asking for your real name. In fact, please do not give your real name or the real names of anyone involved, for your own privacy and protection. Just share your story honestly and from the heart by using the form below to contact me. I am sorry for all you've been through, and I thank you for your courage in advance.

Photo courtesy of Lisa Folios

Connect with Coach Ziana to share your story.

Smartphones: It’s Time to Confront Our Global Addiction | Dr. Justin Romano

This video is about 15 minutes long, but well worth viewing. If you don't have time to watch it now, please bookmark this page and return to it later.

Help is available:

Teen Suicide Hotline.

PLEASE use it. You are so precious and valuable. You ARE worthy. You are loved.

9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline. Call or text.

Hours: 24/7

Website: https://988.ca

I'll try to find more for different countries.

The Science Behind Social Media Addiction (and how to break free.)

How To Stop Social Media Addiction.

When Your Spouse Overuses Social Media.

Keeping teens safe on social media: What parents should know to protect their kids